Old Notebook Post

A post from an old notebook dated 8-10-98.

———–

Not swept with emotion as I had expected.
A subtle quiet change
No fanfare
Balloons
People there to shake my hand
Saying “it was about time”
With me
“smile and nod”
Walking calmly to my grave

ALONE

—————

If my dramatic ass remembers correctly, this was written just after I was offered a new position at work.

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Shorties (my most recent short ones)

I’m ..
Your ultimately
Dull companion

Wind me up
Watch me go
————
————

Alabaster

Alabaster
Mac daddy
He’s white
But he likes to sing karaoke

————-
————-
Striped Pants

Striped pants
Sway my momentum

When they move
Back and forth
Back and forth

Then they sway my everything
And my nausea wins

————–
—————

FLY

I’m a mere fly on the wall
Of my own shit factory

The smell
Permeates
My skin
Permeates
My bones
Permeates
The porous
Membranes
Built to
Explode

Everything

Everything
For your amusement
Everything
For my
Anecdotal time

Everything
For a
Reason
Everything
because
U care

When I think of everything
When I think of the reasons
When I think of the anecdotes
When I think of amusement
When I think of how u care

But I write
For the words
Or the time
Or the verse
Or the sayings
Or the anecdotes
Or the reasons
Or the seasons
Or the mind blowing empty hearted jumping up and down yelling waving my arms to see me saying hey from over there
or flapping my wings to see them dart in another direction or fall apart to a million feathered boas while I’m prancing in circles with my one good leg that likes to get wacky when the tides come in and when it’s dark I get to use the other one that works
mostly
silently
Unabridged
Unabashed
Unwashed
But clean
With a hair or two out of place
With a mole or two in that place
With a smile
With a grin
With a purple kind of slim
Waisted trench coat
Not with buttons
But with buckles
Not that clasp
But that click
In place
But they don’t stay
Put
Like
They
Are
Supposed to

I still use em anyway

Untitled

when your eyes close
just that moment

when the keyboard keys
take on other faces

when the words
take on other meaning

and your life
finally stops spinning

YOU
pause

breathe

taking it all in
you stop
look around
smell

just to make sure the scents match
what you see
what you taste
what you feel

is it real
is it live
or is it just memorex

your questions subside
your words get longer
more defined

you smile
cause it feels alright
cause you could let go
for a second
a minute
a lifetime

– S. Rodriguez  8-14-13