Untitled

My :
Rhythmically blessed
Statuesque
Soul filled
Lip smackin
Blood drippin
Whole hearted
Rootin
Tootin
I said
Rootin
Tootin

Who’s
Unequivocally
Evoking
Unimaginable
Emotions
Unintelligible
Expressions
Unbelievable
Excitability
In me
In little ol me

And I love it
I can’t imagine me without it
I can’t imagine us without it
Cause we’d be just as amazing.
Just a lil slower

7-30-13 – sr
——

Advertisements

How He Melts My Heart

Our emails today – 7-20-2013

From Pickle. –

hey baby hows work going i know its hard transferring from you being mister big and mighty but papa now your the big and mighty for yourself it may get hard but im always gonna be here k bby i love u soo much buff and louie are being awesome an i have a cocktail ready for you when u get out of that man cave or your office oh wait i forgot your at YOURE publishing building today….

love you bby i forget as much as you that emails did a lot for us
love you help me help us!!!!

———————————
And my wet eyed response –

baby baby baby
i can hardly see the words
my eyes
so full of happiness

the way you look at me
when i look at you
is the way i always want you to look at me
when i’m looking at you

proud
happy
content
borderline buzzed
and GETTING IT
GETTING ME!!!!!
and standing behind me
nudging my butt

pushing me ever so gently
afraid i’ll bruise
afraid i’ll give up
afraid i’ll run away

Running isn’t easy
when it doesn’t come to mind
giving up isn’t easy
when it doesnt come to mind

my constant reminder
that we can and will
dance and write
and maybe I’ll stop dancing
so I could write
and maybe you’ll stop writing
so you could dance

i love you
i love you
in a bubble
i love you
on the moon
i love you
sitting on a blade of grass
I love you
standing still
i love you
changing just enough
to help right my ship

i love you

S. Rodriguez – 7-20-2013
——————–

More

I wish there were better more powerful words than “I love you”. Cause I realized last night that I feel so much more than just that.
I can say I love you I love you I love you over and over again …but it still feels like I should be saying more.
It still feels like there’s something else I should be saying or want to say.

but I guess for now I’ll stick with I love you!

s.
9-2010

Words

—–
Love
heart
heat
passion
amazing
unreal
touched
moved
baffled
surprised
kissed
pickle
gilly
sprout
dumpling
hope
spark
wisdom
TALENT
belief
pain
hurt
sadness
redemption
sorrow
sweetheart
perfection
forgiveness
dance
smile
touch
soul
shots
blood
heal
pills
meds
better
100%
hug
feel
move
emotion
poetic

baby…these are just a small piece of the words that come to mind when I think about you and about us
I know there are thousands more…phrases..words…feelings…these are what came up first
these are what I’m feeling now
and what i’ve been feeling
and what I hope to feel a week, month, year, decade, from now

you fucking move me to tears
you move me to write
you move me to be a better person
to be more caring, trustworthy, honest, and open
i only hope I can do the same for you

FUCK
i hope these things I write you express just how much I feel
how much i want
and how much I care about you

and the best part is…
I know you get it..I KNOW YOU DO…
and that’s what makes me want to do it more
to say more
to feel more

I know you understand and appreciate what I do and what I say
I know I can say this to you and you’ll feel it to
I know I can say this and you’ll know what I’m trying to convey
what my heart is bleeding onto this page
what my mind is trying to let escape
what my fears are letting me conquer

I’ve never written like this for anyone
to let them in
to share myself
to give that little piece of me that allows them to see that much more of me
i’m closed off
my shell is hard and angry
but its softening.
slowly
steadily
and with a smile

but you
you get it
you get me
like no one else has

and I can’t help but love you for that
you make me want to be a better person
and I’m trying so hard
fuck
FUCK
i want you to know that i’m trying so hard

when I hurt you
i hurt myself
and i hate it
i’m bruised
but i’m healing
and i only hope you could see it
and be patient while I get better
I love you more than anything
and my words are just the tip of the iceberg

———-
S
12-26-2010

A while

I haven’t emailed you in a while to tell you how in love with you I am.
So here it is.

You make my heart melt
You make me smile
in the best way
You make me crazy
in the most insane way

Last night was nice. Sorry you had the issues with your dad.
But sitting with you at Denny’s was perfect.
I needed it and we needed it

There’s a sadness in me right now,and I’m trying to figure out what it is.
I’m trying to smile constantly,but when I hug you I wanna cry
I’m sitting here typing this and I have tears beginning to flow.
but I’ve stopped them

but your texts in the morning
Your smile when I see you
Your kisses on my ear
Your thoughtfulness
and your impending move to my place
keep me smiling

I love you
I want you to see it
I want you to feel it
I want you to never think otherwise
I want to show you all this emotion in person…because you think I lack it
and maybe I do.
but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it
its just hard to express it sometimes

im smiling now
im happy
things are going to get better for you
I love that despite everything going on, you have a huge smile on your face
and I love you for that

S
1-20-11

My Mind My Heart

You do something
you do something amazing
something that opens me up
brightens me up
makes me GLOW
and enlightens me up
Again I have no words
I wake up
see you
and my day is already complete by morning
I love you
I love everything about you
I love everything you do for us
we have a fucking gift
and I love that we’re able to share it with others too
and its nice to see people see it too

You might be on to something

I opened up an old notebook, just to post something different and older to my other blog.
The first one  read …

who do you want me to be today
do you want to belong here with me
let me make up my mind
sit alone all this time

For some reason, it sounded like me, but sounded like something I’d heard before.  Which may be from me actually writing it! 
But to make sure….I had to google it.  and I didn’t find it.  (which means I wrote it….right?!)

Its odd.  I know I write ok.  But there’s still that little part of me, that you boost up sooooo much.
That one little part of me that thinks that

maybe it’s just you that gets it. 
maybe it’s just you, who appreciates it.

and I’m ok with that.
I love that you love it
and that my words move you!

and thank you for the confidence to keep going.
To keep wanting to write something that’s even better than the one I wrote before.

You’re an inspiration.
to more than just me. 
I’m glad you’re in my corner
rooting for me
and pushing me for more

I love you.

Inspired Emails

I thought about you all last night again.
I wanted to say, I had a REALLY great day yesterday.  Spending time with you is so easy and comfortable and you just make me want to see you more and more, and share with you more and more, and fall in love more and more
I love that you’re the voice of reason, talking me down from the mountain when I’m yelling to everyone how much I love you.
Thanks again for your patience and understanding.
Thanks again for being you.
I would like two things!
I would like a do over on my asking you out and
I would like a do over on the ISSUES I’ve been having when we mess around.
I don’t need them to be perfect…I just want them to be better and memorable for the right reasons.
I love you

alllll these sappy motherfucking things I wrote.

and allllll these sappy mother fucking things I wrote
telling you how I loved this
and liked when your this did that
and how the fucking sun was brighter or some shit
and how the moon shined or shone different.
or the same
or some shit

and alll these sappy mother fucking things I wrote

about how you were this
or how you  were that
about how sweet…
i forgot to add shitty too

and all these sappy mother fucking things I wrote
about how proud I was.
because you made an effort …
there was no effort
or how proud i was
because you planned this
but really…you were off doing that

and all these sappy mother fucking things I wrote
because i meant them
but i want it all back
because it was a long one way street i was on
and you hitched a ride
and made me take every fork that was yours
while my fork would have been faster, cheaper, less painful, and happier

and all these sappy mother fucking things I wrote
worried for you
crying for you
imagining the pain you were going through
allll this
I CANNOT EVEN PUT INTO WORDS.
alllll of this fucking EVERYTHING from me
the blood from my heart
the hairs in my nose
the wrinkles on my toes
my stupid fucking mind
my stupid fucking mind
my stupid fucking heart
my stupid fucking heart

and now
my stupid fucking blood
my stupid fucking blood
my worth
at your hands
my soul for you to dissolve in water

and my blood
for you to wreck
taint
sabotage

and as strange as it might be
my anger is not about that

my anger is for the mockery you made of my life
the 10000000 little things you’ve done to fuck things up
bit
by
bit
by
bit

and my anger is in that lie
where you still tell me you love me
where you still reach out
where you still have to lie
to keep up the other lies

and mostly my anger is in myself
because i fell for it